Craving life

Craving is a funny thing, isn’t it? For example right now I am munching on a pack of almonds to stop myself from reaching into the cupboard where a little pack of oreo’s is calling my name. If I didn’t have the oreo’s, if I didn’t know that they are just few feet away from me, would I crave them?

Probably not.

My friend has a theory about cravings. She claims that you cannot crave things that you never had. After all, if you never tried chocolate in your life, you wouldn’t know the taste of it. You wouldn’t know what to crave. – It’s difficult to argue with that.

All I know, is that you can desire things that you have never had, seen or tried. And I desire a lot…I used to desire a 9-5 mon-fri job – and I got that. I wanted to have a place of my own – no strange flatmates or roommates – got that.

But what do I desire most in the world?

To have a family. My own family. A loving and supporting partner/husband and kids. A desire to be a mum has been at the back of my head since I was 14. Since I learned that probably I will never be a mum.

Apparently, the idea that you might never have something makes you want it (crave it?) even more

 

 

Post obviously inspired by the Daily Prompt: Craving . Also, found this one while thinking of my own ideas Cravings by ArtsySusie. In this one little post I think I found my soul-twin 🙂

 

Prep

I am usually the kind of person to make informed decisions. I do not jump head first into everything. There are of course exceptions from the rule, but that’s what they are – just exceptions.

For the last few days google was my best friend. I googles hypothyroidism, PCOS, added ‘lifestyle’, ‘diet’, ‘symptoms’ and many other words next to it. The results could’ve been overwhelming. Luckily I have experience with this conditions so I quickly could eliminate the websites that were trying to scare you or sell you stuff or both (No, I will not die if I don’t take your company’s supplements, thank you!). Some of them were kind of extreme – at least I find raw vegan diet extreme.

But most of them have few things in common (I will skip medical stuff, at least for now):

  • obviously you cannot cure it but you can manage it
  • feeling like shite and having no energy is not a usual state for most people – and you can fight it
  • if you take care of yourself, you will start feeling better (mentally and physically)
  • there are many things that can make it worse but also things than can make it better (gluten and diary make things worse – good sleep and relax make it better)
  • your condition will never be your best friend but it can become your frenemy 🙂

So… right now I feel low energy and kind of mentally numb, get more and more isolated from people (I used to be outgoing…) and are at least 30 kg (over 5 stone) too heavy… so it can only get better, right?

To write or not to write?

I am not sure if this is the right way to go about starting your blog, but who cares… as long as you start.

I have set up the account few days ago and … that’s it. I was thinking about it, contemplating it… but couldn’t figure out how to start.

I was looking for my Muse ( I guess).

So the daily prompt came in handy… perfect excuse to do it. No more ‘maybe’s.

This blog is supposed to help me start a new chapter in my life. Something I should have done a long time ago… loooooong time ago. But it was always in the not so specific ‘future’… there was always a perfect reason to postpone the change. Because change is always scary, even if it’s inevitable.

To the point: I decided to fight for myself. For my health, for my well-being, for my sanity.

Let’s hope I will find my Muse to help me get through it.